Backstage

I cannot start or continue working on a painting without a reason. The intention guides the process and shapes the final artwork. I like painting because it is full of solo conversations, which I find really nourishing, but also conversations that keep happening behind the canvas.

Since January, I have been working on a diptych (I love diptychs). I have not completed it because there is still work to be done, both internally and in the external, physical part. I am taking my time to enjoy the process without any deadline or schedule. I believe that a slow brush is awareness. This painting is about something I have been dealing with my entire life, without being fully conscious of it.

As part of the narrative of my days, when I paint something, I channel my energy into whatever I am going through. It becomes part of how I live: the way I interact with people and the way I perceive myself. So the art is also work that happens backstage, even on a subconscious level. That is my way to connect art with my life, so I can learn and create. And I mean learning in the sense of letting it grow and evolve, until it belongs to me intrinsically. 

I am not sharing the reason behind this painting yet. I just needed to write this down to keep track of my process. This also brings new insights, ways to explain to myself, what I am doing, and why it matters enough to dedicate a blog to it.

How much does art take part in my life as a way to not feel solitary when there is so much to say? How deep is the lesson, that it could resonate through all the corners and joints in my life? I would not even know the questions, or care for the answers, if the painting were already finished. What matters is the process.

Well, this is me in front of the diptych, layers of scribbled words, and a plan in mind for the final look.